On the much-argued gender identity of God

So, I've heard so much discourse on the sex of the Almighty, and my conclusion has always been... it doesn't matter. I mean, God is God, he or she or it or all the ambiguous abstract territory in between. Doesn't matter, sagely said I, with a nod to impress the listeners that I had delved into the deep well of my soul and my subconcious and fished out a shining gold coin of profundity.
But, you know what? I really do think it matters. The interaction of the sexes is an all-critical part of how every human lives each day of their lives... it would be irresponsible for me to shrug off such a crucial moment of understanding with a cavalier, "Doesn't matter."
I, personally, have always associated the Supreme Divine with the male sex. I was raised by Christians and always took the idea of Father and Son for granted... what the Bible and the preacher say, selah. Fair enough.
However, I got into a discussion with a friend of mine once, after we participated in a particularily awkward responsive reading at a religious institution at which we both worked over the summer. In this reading, we learned that God reconciled the church to Herself. I was a bit uncomfortable... not only is that a large leap from the conservative dogma under which I had spent the better part of my life, but... pushing for a female deity in a responsive reading treads very close to propaganda. Or is it agenda? Either way.
So, over lunch, we discussed the use of male/female articles when describing the Lord. He argued that the only reason that God has been referred to as a he for so long is because the Holy texts of the Abrahamic religions (the Bible, the Torah, the Talmud, the Qur'an) were written by men in patriarchal societies.. therefore, the idea of God as a male was because of the sexism of the patriarchal viewpoint. A very reasonable argument.
I countered that if you believe in creation as set down by the Abrahamic religions, mankind was created as a reflection of God's own character, and, thusly, the patriarchal state of the Abrahamic religions was a reflection of God's character. Not that God is strictly masculine, I think, and made the majority of civilizations on the earth to reflect that. No... I feel more as if God in the masculine sense is a reference point... a visual image for His people on earth. Besides, if the God monotheists associate with Creationism were actually meant to be percieved as female, would the vast majority of civilizations on the earth be predominantly patriarchal? I don't really see a woman God creating people and then making them "mankind". There are a few notable exceptions of truly stunning women being remarkable leaders in their time- Elizabeth I, Bouddicea, Hapshepsut, Joan of Arc... and women are ever becoming a powerful force of leadership in the world. But that's only after centuries of cultural evolution...
Does this make God a male-dominant sexist? No no no. In fact, I feel that in the Abrahamic sense of creationism, God established the ultimate checks-and-balance system. Men have traditionally been in charge of the human race. However, women have always borne the responsibility of continuing that race. Really, I think it's like when two children are splitting a sandwich and their mom makes one cut and the other choose...
Anyway, so ALL of that having been said, why does it matter?
Well, I've broken with my old church crowd and church-going ways.... I'm more of a freelance monotheist than anything else. My thoughts on the issue? I think it matters because God should be approached not because of who He is, but who you are and what you bring to the relationship. And it is a relationship. But let me not digress into THAT right now. Wait, no... maybe I will.
I believe any relationship is defined by what the people who are involved carry with them from before. The woman whose husband left her for a younger woman... the girl or boy whose father sexually abused them... the girl who was shy and ignored... whether it's good or bad, every person carries a planeload of baggage with the into every interaction they have.
However, an interaction with an abstract concept such as God is trickier... whereas you can look at me, talk to me, touch me, and know for a fact that I'm a girl, my voice is squeaky, I'm however tall, my hair is whatever color (red, as it so happens)... communicating with the Divine? Subtle and open to opinion, guesswork and a healthy dose of imagination. Do you see God in the beauty of a sunset? Do you hear Him in an encouraging word or feel Him in a hug? And on a deeper (to me) level... do you see Him as a man? Do you imagine God as a nurturing Mother? Are you incapable of worshipping a God connected to either of the sexes because of past experiences? I know girls who cannot grasp God as a father because of what their own fathers did to them. Are they wrong to reject Abrahamic principles? Or should we then start to grasp that God is not petty enough to reject those who refuse to bury themselves in tradition, and endeavor to accept God for themselves and not for everyone else? I don't believe He cares how He is approached or what He is called... I think He respects us when we try.
I reject that it doesn't matter if God is male or female, because it matters, because everyone matters, and that's why it shouldn't matter, because I don't think it matters to God. Is that what I meant to say?
I'd better quit now and go find some caffeine. Except that I gave it up. Damn it.